


Not Personal (The Denial Remix)

by laireshi



Category: Avengers (Comics), Marvel 616
Genre: Avengers Vol. 4 (2010), Fix-It, Getting Together, Infinity Gems, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-19
Updated: 2018-02-19
Packaged: 2019-03-16 10:08:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13634133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/laireshi/pseuds/laireshi
Summary: It's not about Steve's feelings, except that it is.





	Not Personal (The Denial Remix)

**Author's Note:**

> Big thanks for betaing to FestiveFerret!
> 
> This fic is part of a remix relay chain; you can find the full [masterlist](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/Cap_Ironman_Relay_Remix_2018/profile) on the Collection profile page. This one isn't actually a remix, because it's the starter fic for the Flower Chain! (The title is a lie so that people wouldn't figure out the order :D )

Steve’s whole body is vibrating with anger, barely contained energy burning under his skin. Of course Tony lied. _Of fucking course_. But Steve’s almost as angry at himself as he is at Tony, because _he should’ve known_.

Really, when was the last time he could’ve trusted Tony? 

He keeps lying and telling half-truths and hiding what’s important. _Why_ does Steve keep falling for it?

(Because he wants to believe Tony. He wants it more than almost anything in the world.)

The thought makes him punch the wall. The skin on his knuckles breaks, and Steve stares at the blood, red like the Iron Man’s suit, red like the Power Gem.

But the Gem’s gone. All the Gems are gone, because Tony Stark did the right thing for once in his fucking life.

It doesn’t erase everything else he’s done.

Steve strips off his suit, turns on the shower and steps in the icy cold water. It does nothing to calm him down. He washes quickly, rubbing his body almost to the point of pain, and stays under the showerhead until his teeth start clattering. 

So Tony had his secret smart boys club, the better to help him run the world and manipulate everyone. It just proves everything Steve’s always known about him. 

Steve wanted to believe so badly that Tony had changed after the Superhero Civil War. He claimed he didn’t remember, he promised he wanted to make amends, and Steve believed him, idiotically. 

_I’m sorry your feelings are hurt_ , Tony said, always acting like the superior one. Steve’s feelings have nothing to do with it. It’s about trust and world security; it’s about ethics. Something Tony will never understand.

Steve towels himself dry and doesn’t risk looking in the mirror.

He’s _right_ , he knows he is, so why does it feel so wrong?

Because Tony’s not near him, his treacherous brain whispers. Because it’s _Steve_ who was trying to make amends, because Tony might have wiped his own mind, but Steve still remembers fighting him as New York burnt around them, breaking his armour and raising his shield, ready to deal the fatal blow to his best friend.

Because no one but Tony has ever managed to make him half as angry, because Steve _cares_ so damn much; because Tony clearly doesn’t.

But that’s in the past. All of it is in the past, next to the sad ruins of his friendship with Tony. 

Tony’s off the team now, Steve’s leading SHIELD instead of the Avengers, and it’s _done_.

(Wrong, he thinks again; it’s all so very wrong.)

***

“Hear me out,” Tony Stark says, easy smile and expensive business suit doing nothing to hide how pale he is, how bruised his eyes are.

 _Get out_ , Steve thinks. _You’re off the team. You should be out of my life. Haven’t I made myself clear?_

But it’s Tony asking, and even in the midst of their war, Steve couldn’t have made himself refuse a meeting with Tony to try and talk. He certainly can’t say no now.

“Go on,” Steve says, crossing his arms in front of himself.

Tony gives him another bright, fake smile, and opens his palm in front of him.

The Infinity Gems light up the room in all the colours of rainbow.

Steve feels as if Tony punched him. “How?” he grits out, even though he knows _exactly_ how: Tony lied to everyone like he always does.

Tony glances away. “It would have been extremely dangerous to destroy them,” he says.

“Who else knows?” Steve asks.

“No one,” Tony says.

Steve hates that he can’t tell anymore if Tony’s being honest. 

Tony sighs. “I mean it. I think—I think we should tell the Illuminati. The Gems can’t stay together for long. But—I don’t want to do it without you.”

 _Don’t trust him_ , Steve tells himself firmly, but it’s too late; he’s nodding already.

It’s because Tony’s right, though, not because Steve _wants_ to work with him.

Something like relief crosses Tony’s face. “Well then,” he says. “Shall we tell the others?”

 _It’s not that easy_ , Steve wants to yell.

He doesn’t.

***

“Tony,” Steve says when it’s done, when they divide the Gems again and he’s holding the Time Gem in his hand, such an appropriate choice for the man out of time.

“I know,” Tony answers immediately. “It doesn’t fix what I’ve done. I’m turning in my resignation from the team first thing tomorrow—”

“No,” Steve says, surprising even himself.

Tony turns to him, incredulously. “No?” he repeats. “You were very clear.”

Steve takes a deep breath. “It was about my feelings,” he says.

Tony stares at him. He stares at his own Gem. “This is Space,” he mutters. “It can’t make you do anything—have you touched the Mind Gem? The Soul one? Let me call Xavier—”

“ _Tony_ ,” Steve cuts into his babbling. “You tried to make things better. Is it so hard to believe so would I?”

“Yeah, sorry, Steve, but stubbornness is kinda your defining trait,” Tony says, still acting like it’s not serious. Steve wants to shake him. 

“It’s not that easy,” Steve finally says. He weighs his words very carefully. “A lot has happened between us. A lot that you don’t remember.”

“I’m aware,” Tony says, his voice high.

“I was mad at you. At myself, too.” Steve takes a deep breath. “But here’s the most maddening thing of all: you asked me to work with you, and I said yes without even thinking, because it feels natural. After our war and after all that lies, I still want to do this—” he waves his hand around them, encompassing their friendship, saving the world, everything else there is, “—together.”

This might be the only time Steve’s seen Tony struck silent. 

“This is the truth,” Steve says. “I thought we could do with that for once.”

Tony barks a laugh. “ _Truth_. Sure _.”_ He doesn’t meet Steve’s eyes, and something inside Steve snaps, because he’s trying, _he’s trying to do the right thing_ , get it all out in the open, and now Tony’s refusing to listen, because _he always has to be contrary_ , and Steve—

Steve—

Steve’s not telling the whole truth, not yet.

He pockets the Gem. He advances on Tony, pushing on his shoulders with all his strength, forcing him to take a step back even though he’s still suited up. The angle’s all weird, Tony’s taller than him in the armour, but Steve’s not going to let details like that stop him. He puts a hand on the nape of Tony’s neck, pulls him down as he’s leaning up, and slams his lips into Tony’s.

He puts everything into the kiss: all the love, all the times he thought it was hate instead, all the disappointments and all the anger and all the _hope_. He kisses Tony like the world is ending. He kisses him like it’s his only chance to do so.

And after the first, stunned moment, Tony kisses back.

“This is the truth?” Tony asks later.

“You tell me,” Steve challenges. It seems like he’s not the only one who acted on his _feelings_.

Tony shows him the truth in detail. They don’t use many words for it.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Bottled Demons (the stubborn lies remix)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13331880) by [Lets_call_me_Lily](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lets_call_me_Lily/pseuds/Lets_call_me_Lily)




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